Times Square, NYC, became some sort of cerebrally discordant Mecca for ageing post-punk nerd types this past week as Devo performed live as part of the annual CBGB’s Music & Film Festival.
It has been a tough 18 months or so for the band, losing ex-drummer Alan Myers in mid-2013 to stomach cancer and guitarist Bob Casale to heart failure in February this year. Since the death of Casale, the band have played a handful of shows in the US in June and July but only now, with rumours of a possible world tour swirling, are the band getting back into full swing again with the Times Square show and a series of December dates.
To this nerd, this is bloody exciting. So to commemorate the brilliant lives of Alan Myers and Bob Casale and to toast the continuation of one of the truly innovative, influential and super damn clever bands of our time, I propose this:
Welcome to DEVO-land
Through Being Cool? Got an urge? Got a surge? Is it out of control? Well, expressions of interest are now required as we here at Shoot Farken seek assistance in the funding and construction of the world’s first fully interactive Devo funland and emporium. So assume the position and give the past a slip, I gotta tell you all about it…
DEVO-land will be situated on the outskirts of Kent, Ohio on five acres of land recently abandoned by a bankrupted terracotta pot and hat wholesaler.
Your virtual-regressive experience will begin as you twist away at the giant Gates of Steel entrance under the deceptive gaze of our Peek-A-Boo cameras. Remember to act accordingly, for they know what you do.
There’s Something For Everybody at DEVO-land.
Our non-stop Jerkin’ Back n’ Forth dance hall extravaganza will be just the scratch for that depressing work-a-week Swelling Itching Brain as you join in the Mechanical Man loop dance fun of I Can’t Get Me No Satisfaction 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Now that you’re limbered up, become swept up into obeyance as you participate in our perpetual motion call and response night club experience, with our in-house DJ Jocko Homo, as he obnoxiously and repeatedly poses the question “Are We Not Men?” If you don’t know the answer at first, you soon will… “We Are Devo!”
With your brain now on Clockout, it’s time to get your bestial idiocy on and find the Girl U Want in our Ton O Love lounge. Who knows, the right gal may even wish to go forward and move ahead with you to our Freedom of Choice bondage facility where you can each crack that whip and Whip It into shape. Remember, it’s not too late.
If love, chanting and dancing isn’t your bag then never fear, Devo Has Feelings Too. So come and Slap Your Mammy down at our 100% completely interactive virtual reality carnival, Beautiful World. Here, you can pinpoint your most disliked location on Planet Earth in our Space Junk ring toss caravan. C’mon, give it a go, India, Venezuela, in Texas, Kansas… they’re all there to be hooked… and littered. Careful not to hit little Sally though.
Or, for a nominal fee allow us to bombard you with irrational fears from mother in our Too Much Paranoias padded room. Then, let us save you, as you once again assume the position, this time in our Remedial Church of the Praying Hands.
Finally, after a long night of Red Eye frivolity, come down and Shrivel Up, as you wear a hat and bring home the bacon in our pièce de résistance, the Virtual Mongoloid Booth. Here, you will see and feel exactly what it’s like to have one chromosome too many. Drive a car, work a job, blend in. Your friends will be so completely unaware that they’ll just think you’re normal.
So, wake up from your Deep Sleep, take some Time Out For Fun and follow our Devo Corporate Anthem into this once in a lifetime opportunity. Your bank account thanks you in advance.
Do it now, we are Here To Go.
Photo: Michael Boer/Flickr
