An ode to Holger Osieck inspired by the novel Red or Dead by David Peace. Athas Zafiris writes.
Holger looked at his diary. Holger looked at the Socceroos fixtures to come. Holger looked at the date, September 7. Holger looked at the place, Brasilia. Holger looked at the opponent, Brazil. Holger had a date for a friendly match with Brazil in Brasilia on September 7 2013. Holger knew he was in trouble.
Holger Osieck, the Australian men’s national football team manager, had just qualified the Socceroos for the World Cup in Brazil in 2014. Holger was scared. Holger knew it had taken the Socceroos until the 83rd minute of the last qualifying match of an easy group to qualify for the World Cup. Holger surveyed the photos on the walls of his study. Holger looked at Sepp Herberger. Holger looked at Helmut Schön. Holger looked at Franz Beckenbauer. Holger thought “what would they do?” Holger got out of his chair. Holger walked into the kitchen. Holger went to pick out some cutlery from the kitchen drawer. Holger found some shiny new cutlery in the drawer. Holger ignored most of the new cutlery. Holger picked out the same rusty cutlery he had used ever since being made manager of the Socceroos. Holger walked back to the study. Holger sat down in his chair. Holger looked up at the photos on the wall. Holger placed the predominantly rusty cutlery on his desk. Holger placed a ladle on the desk. Holger placed four spoons on the desk. Holger placed five forks on the desk. Holger placed one knife on the desk. Holger looked up at the photos. Holger looked hard at the cutlery on the desk. Holger watched them moving. Holger watched them moving in unison. Holger watched them moving like a bus. Holger watched the bus park. Holger watched the bus park in front of the Australian rusty ladle. Holger got out of his chair. Holger walked out of the study. Holger went to bed. Holger switched off the light. Holger knew he was in trouble.
Holger walked into the Estádio Nacional Mané Garrincha in Brasilia. Holger walked into the Socceroos dressing room. Holger looked at his rusty captain Lucas Neill. Holger looked at his rusty goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer. Holger then looked at Ognenovski at McKay at McGowan at Jedinak at Bresciano at Kruse at Holman at Oar and finally he looked at Kennedy. Holger looked at his cutlery. Holger addressed his cutlery. Holger told the cutlery of how he had kept faith with them. Holger told cutlery of how he believed in them. Holger told them they were going to build a bus. Holger told them they were going to park the bus in front of Schwarzer’s goal. Holger reminded them they were Australian cutlery. Holger reminded them Australian cutlery was made of stern stuff. Holger reminded them they were made of forged steel. Holger told them the Brazilians will not break them down. Holger told them the bus was not for moving. Holger finished his pre-match address. Holger took out his smart phone. Holger looked at the photos of Herrberger, Schön & Beckenbauer. Holger knew he was in trouble.
Holger took his place on the Socceroos bench. Holger watched the referee blow his whistle. Holger in the warm Brazilian sun watched the bus sputter into position. Holger watched the bus sputter out of position. Holger watched the bus made out of rusty and mismatched cutlery pulled out of position. Holger watched Jo score in the 8th minute. Holger watched Jo score in the 34th minute. Holger watched Neymar score in the 35th minute. Holger watched Neymar and his Brazilian mates bend his rusty cutlery out of shape in the warm Brazilian sun. Holger watched the referee blow his whistle for half time.
Holger knew he was in trouble.
Australia lost 6-0 to Brazil.
Holger then took his mismatched and rusty cutlery over to Paris to play France in a friendly on October 11 2013 at the Parc des Princes.
Australia lost 6-0 to France.
Holger knew he was no longer in trouble. Holger was sacked one hour after the match. Holger was Socceroos manager no more.
David Peace’s ode to Bill Shankly is 720 pages long.
