Browsing Category Football
-
Football
Socceroos Haiku: Ange Postecoglou Lost in Translation
In a plush hotel room in Osaka, in a steam filled bathroom, a hand reached out and turned off the super jet powered shower. For 30 minutes Ange ...
-
Football 1
Fan division after derby demolition: The early evolution of Melbourne City FC
Last weekend’s Melbourne Derby, the first between Melbourne Victory and Melbourne City, had AFL media types creaming their pants over the atmosphere, Victory fans gushing like Yosemite geysers ...
-
Football
Down, down, FIFA rankings are down: The New Socceroos Status Quo
The new FIFA rankings are out and, as usual, it’s only a slightly more reliable measure of quality than the top 40 music charts. When I started writing ...
-
Football 8
Does an insect have a heart? The early evolution of Melbourne City FC
I am still trying to process what I experienced at Melbourne City’s first home game at AAMI Park last Sunday afternoon. Days later, as I’m typing this, the ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s 2014 World Cup Diary: Complete and Unabridged
One year ago today, the Shoot Farken website was launched. To celebrate the occasion we are proud to republish The Heavy Sleeper’s 2014 World Cup Diary. During the ...
-
Football
Ange Postecoglou and the Magic Lamp: How the Socceroos won the Asian Cup
On his final night in Doha, Ange Postecoglou suddenly remembered he had some shopping to do. His mind was still consumed by negative thoughts stemming from two uninspiring ...
-
Football 1
Football Songs: The Shoot Farken Top 20
Here at Shoot Farken, we travel to the beat of a different football drum. We are marking the start of the A-League season with a countdown of football ...
-
Football 3
Gombau of Thrones: King of Coaches, Saviour of Pissants?
Josep Gombau’s first season in charge of Adelaide has been a tale of controversy throughout. Despite being voted in as A-League All-Stars coach (and thus, arguably, the most ...
-
Football
A little anchor to childhood memories: A tribute to James Alexander Gordon
Certain memories act as anchors to your childhood. Little boats bobbing up and down in a harbour, the sea rising and falling with the tides, the anchors keeping ...
-
Football
Meet David Squires: Football Cartoon Genius (Accidental Sydney FC Fan)
England’s best performance of the 2014 World Cup wasn’t produced on the pitches in Brazil, where The Three Lions were below average to put it politely. And it ...
-
Football
Notes from the Ange Underground: The Socceroos v ‘Shoddy’ Arabia
Ange Postecoglou took some notes after this morning’s match against Saudi Arabia at Craven Cottage, London. Thanks to a mole in the Australian camp, Shoot Farken can exclusively ...
-
Football
Ça plane pour moi: Ange Postecoglou and the wisdom of Plastic Bertrand
Belgium. Hate the place. Full of smartarses, especially their journos. “You lost your five last games and you play against the fifth best team in the world. Are ...
-
Football
“Un dia muy importante”: Costa Rica basks in its World Cup afterglow
A transexual prostitute saunters into a seedy bar in San Jose, Costa Rica’s buzzing capital. She has a Joel Campbell badge fashionably pinned to her knock-off Louis Vuitton ...
-
Football
How to make time-wasting in football a thing of the past
Football has a time-wasting problem. I make this judgement on the basis that coaches, players and fans complain about both time-wasting and ineffective time-keeping in football (just Google ...
-
Football
EXCLUSIVE: Leaked FFA report considers potential for ‘ethnic-style’ A-League club
A highly confidential Football Federation Australia marketing report obtained by Shoot Farken reveals the sport’s governing body has been actively investigating the possibility of allowing a new “ethnic-flavoured” ...
-
Australian Rules 1
Australia, it’s time to take a GHLAO (good hard look at ourselves)
Having migrated to this country in 1994, I saw many of Australia’s great sporting deeds. In 1996, during class in Grade 5, I watched Kieren Perkins win gold ...
-
Football
How the World Cup led me to Miss Trans Star 2010 and rekindled my passion for the Socceroos
What do I, the Socceroos, and Miss Trans Star 2010 all have in common? Apart from similar reproductive organs, perhaps not much. However, we all made an appearance at ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Brazil v Netherlands, Germany v Argentina
Brazil 0 Netherlands 3 I wake up at 3:00am in a foreign city in a foreign country – you’d perhaps call it Sydney, New South Wales – and ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Brazil v Germany, Netherlands v Argentina
Brazil 1 Germany 7 It’s only on a Saturday morning, now three or four days after the event that I can make sense of the whole affair, my ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Argentina v Belgium, Netherlands v Costa Rica
Argentina 1 Belgium 0 Dear Mr Tyler, proselytising does not suit you, especially at 2:15 in the morning our time or whenever it was you decided to have ...
-
Football 1
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Germany v France, Brazil v Colombia
France 0 Germany 1 Because I somehow got roped into watching two episodes of the 1997 adventure series Conan the Adventurer – think Hercules or Xena, but with about 1/10th of the budget, awful ...
-
Football 1
All Quiet on the Eastern Front: What happened to Eastern Europe at Brazil 2014?
Most people probably haven’t noticed, but something’s been missing from the second round stage of these World Cup finals. Those of us who grew up watching the World ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Germany v Algeria, Argentina v Switzerland, Belgium v USA
Germany 2 Algeria 1 Who knows what the problem was, but I only managed to get up at about 7:00, so I completely missed the first half of ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Brazil v Chile, Colombia v Uruguay, Costa Rica v Greece
Brazil 1 Chile 1 – Brazil win on penalties In the Elizabethan ‘Great Chain of Being’, there’s a place for everything and everything is in its place. God ...
-
Football
Der Beißende Luis: Shocking Stories from the Life of Luis Suarez
Struwwelpeter is a book of moral tales and lessons familiar to many children in German-speaking countries. Inspired by Heinrich Hoffman’s book, Shoot Farken presents Der Beißende Luis (The Biting Luis), ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Italy v Uruguay, Greece v Côte d’Ivoire, France v Ecuador, Algeria v Russia
Italy 0 Uruguay 1 How do we decide on whose terms any given match is played? If the match is played between two sides of considerable stylistic variance, ...
-
Football
World Cup Farken: The USA doesn’t need to win the World Cup, they have already won
The match was over. Team USA had lost to Germany 1-0 but had also won qualification for the knockout phase of the 2014 FIFA World Cup courtesy of ...
-
Football
World Cup Farken: Screw the pseudo-football intellectuals, I’m jumping on the Uruguayan Magic Bus
‘I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now; entertain us’ Kurt Cobain Fuck, it must be hard. Fuck, it must be so hard staying up to watch ...
-
Football
Arrivederci Andrea Pirlo: Italy’s improv master exits on a blue note
The World Cup has lost one of its great craftsman with the exit of Italy and Andrea Pirlo from the group stage. “Don’t play what’s there; play what’s ...
-
Football
The Heavy Sleeper’s World Cup Review: Australia v Spain, Croatia v Mexico
Australia 0 Spain 3 I woke up at what would have been half time and considered the options – stay in bed, or find some courage and go find ...
Subscribe & Follow
