Browsing Tag A-League
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Football
How Amor’s Pissants plunged from Paradise to Purgatory
On May Day 2016, Adelaide United finally came of age. Since its formation in 2003, the Reds had promised much, yet delivered little in the tangible form of ...
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Football
Yoshi Battles the Evil Sokkah Haters (with help from The Flaming Lips)
Hello Yoshi, Meet your long lost sister, Yoshimi. While you’ve been busy travelling around the country in your quest to find an A-League team to support, your bigger ...
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Football
Games Goals Glory: Eleven seasons of A-League as cause for celebration
In 1977, my mother took me on a journey. We walked down to our little high street, with its two small supermarkets, the modest Woolworths general store, the ...
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Football
Two seasons of Melbourne City: Still a pupa, but not as poop
When Melbourne City made their debut in October 2014 I took the David Attenborough route and described them as Melbourne Pupa FC. For those of you who didn’t ...
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Football
A Pissant Fairytale: How a City of Chokers became a City of Champions
Prologue With a population of just 1.7m – nearly a million fewer residents than the next (4th) most populous Australian state, Western Australia (2.6m), it probably isn’t too surprising ...
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Football
Who will be The Biggest Choker? Shoot Farken’s A-League Grand Final Audio Preview
Who will become the first team to lose three A-League Grand Finals? That is the question on everybody’s lips. Choking honours will be on the line this Sunday ...
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Football 2
Soccer is small, football is big: The cultural dissonance of promotion-relegation in Australia
AFL franchise club Greater Western Sydney won the “wooden spoon” in its inaugural season of 2012 and then again in 2013. A few years before that, in the ...
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Football
Stop The Flares! FFA proposes to swap children detained in Nauru with A-League troublemakers
Shoot Farken can exclusively reveal that Football Federation Australia (FFA) has approached the Federal Government, namely the Department of Immigration and Border Protection, in a desperate bid to ...
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Football
A Season at Le Havre: The Story of Harry Novillo the Hare and Riyad Mahrez the Tortoise
Harry Novillo woke up bleary-eyed on a fine, early summer morning in Melbourne. He switched on the television, then walked into the kitchen to make his bowl of ...
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Australian Rules 2
The Shoot Farken Guide to naming and shaming Australia’s Sporting Hooligans
On September 12, 1885, the Fitzroy Football Club (merged with the Brisbane Bears to become Brisbane Lions in 1997) hosted the South Melbourne Football Club (Sydney Swans since ...
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Football 1
No Amor for the new King of the Pissants
Ser Gio Syrio was not the type of man to let circumstances affect his performance. He approached his duties as a knight of the Pissantguard with vigour, regardless ...
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Football
The Red and Black Bloc Massacre
The big day had arrived. It was stinkingly hot. The mercury had brushed 40c earlier in the day in Sydney’s West. RBB (Red and Black Bloc) stalwart, Rob, ...
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Football
No Pyro, No Party! My journey into the secret world of flaming hot smoking orange chuckable things
Tribune of Troof journalist Peter Rofl with a Shoot Farken EXCLUSIVE. “Stop the boats!” We hear you cry. But alas there is a greater menace lurking in the ...
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Football
If you build it, they will come: Turning Hindmarsh Stadium into a Field of Dreams
In the movie Field of Dreams, a farmer played by Kevin Costner hears a voice say “build it and he will come”. For some odd reason he decides ...
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Football
The song your A-League club should walk out to this season
Last week, Perth Glory CEO Peter Filopoulos jumped on social media and asked fans to suggest a tune for the team to walk out to on home match ...
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Football
Notes on an “Ultra” spectacular A-League Grand Final
The Game The game was no classic. Finals rarely are. Like waiting in the dark room in pre-digital days for a print to develop, we waited for a ...
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Football 1
The Passion, the Pain, and the Pissants: Charting 10 Years of Adelaide United
It goes without saying that Adelaide United’s brief existence has been a tumultuous one. Reds fan and ABC reporter Loukas Founten has been there since the first game ...
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Football 2
This is not the A-League but the Kids are definitely alright
Low-hanging gums creak welcomingly as we make our way down the cracked, undulating pathway. My son – torn between scurrying ahead and staying close to me – surveys ...
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Football
10 Anti-Racist Songs for the A-League’s #EraseRacism Round
This weekend, Round 22 of the Hyundai A-League will be played. It has also been named the ‘Erase Racism Round’. According to the media release from All Together ...
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Football 20
How a Coyote explains the defective logic of a Football Bitter
Diving into the world of social media has its positives and its negatives. For every pithy comment of genuine wisdom or link to an illuminating piece, where you ...
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Football 1
Fan division after derby demolition: The early evolution of Melbourne City FC
Last weekend’s Melbourne Derby, the first between Melbourne Victory and Melbourne City, had AFL media types creaming their pants over the atmosphere, Victory fans gushing like Yosemite geysers ...
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Football 8
Does an insect have a heart? The early evolution of Melbourne City FC
I am still trying to process what I experienced at Melbourne City’s first home game at AAMI Park last Sunday afternoon. Days later, as I’m typing this, the ...
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Football 3
Gombau of Thrones: King of Coaches, Saviour of Pissants?
Josep Gombau’s first season in charge of Adelaide has been a tale of controversy throughout. Despite being voted in as A-League All-Stars coach (and thus, arguably, the most ...
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Football
Meet David Squires: Football Cartoon Genius (Accidental Sydney FC Fan)
England’s best performance of the 2014 World Cup wasn’t produced on the pitches in Brazil, where The Three Lions were below average to put it politely. And it ...
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Football
EXCLUSIVE: Leaked FFA report considers potential for ‘ethnic-style’ A-League club
A highly confidential Football Federation Australia marketing report obtained by Shoot Farken reveals the sport’s governing body has been actively investigating the possibility of allowing a new “ethnic-flavoured” ...
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Football
Melbourne Heart (City) to launch Red & White Buy-Back Scheme
In a Shoot Farken exclusive, we can reveal that Manchester City, the new mega-rich owners of A-League club Melbourne Heart, will soon be launching The Red & White ...
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Football 4
The A-League is leaving MLS for dead when it comes to TV ratings
I intended to write this piece later in the year. I really did. But all it took was one tweet from a notorious A-League killjoy to change that. ...
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Football
Shoot Farken Festivus: The Airing of A-League Match Day Grievances
I was wondering how to celebrate 100 days of Shoot Farken. Surely, this alternate Australian cybermedia mash-up with a core ingredient of football deserved something to mark the ...
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Football
The Old Man, the Rooster and a morsel of pork: Melbourne Heart as Balkan parable
My cousin is a great storyteller. I don’t mean good at making up stories, he’s just a good raconteur. In a very ‘old world’ quality, he describes every ...
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Football
Tomi Juric or Josh Kennedy: Will the Colossus of Western Sydney go to the World Cup?
Tomi Juric or Josh Kennedy? This could very well be the scenario confronting Socceroos manager Ange Postecoglou. Does he choose the veteran hero Josh Kennedy, our Saviour who ...
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